It was a random late night watching Netlix, I was enjoying a nice
movie. It was a real
feel good type... man meets dog and they become best friends, family
setting really nice little town, little family, little people loving
and going on in this world, When suddenly one sentence changed
everything in my mind.
The man in this movie
who accidently meets a dog and brings it into his family, Has a wife
and a daughter who just recently got married to yes a nice young
man. His daughter is
having lunch with his wife after they speak about the fact that she
is pregnant. The
daughter wants to speak to her mother about how her parents met.
Which is so sugary sweet you just want to love all over the
both of them LOL, When the wife says something that really touched
me.
The conversation went something like this:
Daughter: Mom, you and Dad have been together a long time.
Mother: yes 25 years now.
Daughter: Wow.
Mother: Me and your father have been together longer than we have
been apart.
And there it
is... They have been together longer than they have been apart.
When you think about that... out there in this world, people
have been together, married, in love, through the good and bad,
longer than they have been without each other.
The math behind that… to count your years on earth, and have
spent most of them with your partner.
I
was in love with the idea, in love with the reality of it, in love
with the fact that I know it is true.
Right now there are couples all over the USA all over the
WORLD who have that.
Then I think... I might have already missed my chance at having
that. Chances are I
will never have that
You see... I’m
almost 38 years old now, a widow for 11 years, and if you do the
math. If I met someone
today that I ended up marrying, I would have to be with them at
least 39 years to be able to say I have been with them longer than I
have been without them. Which means; I would have to live until I
was at least 77 years old.
Is it possible?
Yes it is completely possible, though with accidental death and
health problems more and more people are dying younger.
Plus one more thing I don’t have a man in my life that fits
marriage material. I
don’t have prospects currently which means every day and year that
pass comes the reality that I might not ever be able to say, I have
been with someone longer than I have been apart from them.
That
fact kind of crushes me a bit. For a moment I thought how amazing it
would be, how I wished I could say that.
Isn’t that the true test of love?
Long term, forever love, for better or worse, in sickness and
health until the day you die?
Isn’t that what people seek, love that is strong enough to
stand the test of time.
When you have been together so long you don’t know nor want to know
what it is like to be apart.
I
say to myself, that this type of love isn’t superior to another
love. It is just
different. Just because
you were together longer doest meant that another situation cannot
have just as much love and care involved.
Being a widow first hand I know this is true.
I had my husband in my life for 3 years in total 1 year
dating then engaged and 2 years married.
It also made me relate even more to the movie.
So
back to the story our nice family now includes, A great husband,
talented wife, loving daughter who is now married to a nice young
man with a baby just born and man's best friend ever faithful
companion. With a dare
I say a special soulful connection to his master.
The
husband and his furry friend walk everyday to the train station
where man and beast part ways.
The man off to work the dog taking a tour of the neighborhood
then home, before returning to meet his master again by the train.
As they are happily living life the unspeakable happens.
The man dies and on that day dog waits and waits ever
faithful yet confused, Until family comes to retrieve him.
All attempts at keeping and relocating him failed.
He escapes again and again to wait for his best friend and
owner who will never return.
For ten long years he waits everyday he waits until his dying
breath. With dreams and
memories flooding into this kind creatures mind.
His last moments of life, were filled with fleeting moments
in time of him and his master running, walking, meeting at the train
where they walked home.
Is that not love? a Loyal pure love, though they are owner and pet
still you can’t help but see that it is a undeniable showcase of
love.
It makes me think about how I related to the movie:
I can relate to the wife whose whole life was devastated at the loss
of her mate a good man one who she spent most of her life with,
More years together than
apart.
I related to the daughter who tried to keep her father’s dog to love
him and to care for him but finally understood she had to let him go
to do what he needed to do, wait
for his best friend.
I related also to the dog, to the loyalty of love, to knowing what
it is like to love someone so much that you want to wait for them,
even though you know in your heart you will never see them again.
To find comfort in the act of remembering and giving honor to
what you had. To still
be waiting after all those years.
Isn’t this love just as amazing as the love of those who have been
together longer than they have been apart?
I
even started to think about how many widows (wives who lost
husbands) and widowers (husbands who lost wives) never marry again,
some just can’t seem to get past the loss, others cannot put another
into the position that will always belong to their mate who passed.
Being a widow myself I understand the feeling at a point in
time I could never see myself marrying again.
Sometimes even though I am still young I wonder will I ever
find someone who I am compatible with in that way again.
Others may
see
it as you trying to replace your love with another and that just
won’t do.
Some
feel like our canine friend in the movie, who went off on his own,
he could have stayed with his master’s daughter in their home, with
the nice husband and new son.
But he left never returning almost as though no other person
could replace and be his owner now.
He rather wait until they can be reunited.
Loyalty and love is a powerful thing.
Still yet when it comes to love you can’t say one love is better
than another. That you
cannot know what love is unless you have been together longer than
apart, unless your willing to spend the rest of your life alone. I
know that is not a reality, that doesn’t mean I don’t dream about it.
Wish I could say that sentence and have felt what its like.
To be with someone longer than I have been apart from them.
Maybe I won’t be gifted this experience in my life.
If I marry again it won’t be because I want to replace my
husband. He has his own
place in my heart. It
will be because someone else was able to capture a piece of my
heart. I don’t feel it is a dishonor to him.
If I don’t marry again it
isn’t because I need to punish myself, It is not to honor his memory
it is because the map of my life didn’t have that detour printed. Maybe a bit
because my husband treated me so well, I won’t accept someone who
won’t treat me equally as good.
Either way… I know love is something that seems like a simple word,
but with strong connections and I respect all versions of this
connection, including those between man and beast.
Still when times are quiet and I have only my own thoughts I
think about loving someone and being with someone longer than I have
been apart from them.
We all can dream can’t we?
MOVIE:
Hachi: A Dog's Tale
2009
When his master dies, a loyal pooch named Hachiko keeps a regular
vigil -- for more than a decade -- at the train station where he
once greeted his owner every day in this touching drama based on a
true story.
