Long Lasting Love

It was a random late night watching Netlix, I was enjoying a nice movie.  It was a real feel good type... man meets dog and they become best friends, family setting really nice little town, little family, little people loving and going on in this world, When suddenly one sentence changed everything in my mind.

  The man in this movie who accidently meets a dog and brings it into his family, Has a wife and a daughter who just recently got married to yes a nice young man.  His daughter is having lunch with his wife after they speak about the fact that she is pregnant.  The daughter wants to speak to her mother about how her parents met.  Which is so sugary sweet you just want to love all over the both of them LOL, When the wife says something that really touched me. 

The conversation went something like this:

Daughter: Mom, you and Dad have been together a long time.

  

Mother: yes 25 years now.

  

Daughter:  Wow.

  

Mother: Me and your father have been together longer than we have been apart. 

   And there it is... They have been together longer than they have been apart.  When you think about that... out there in this world, people have been together, married, in love, through the good and bad, longer than they have been without each other.  The math behind that… to count your years on earth, and have spent most of them with your partner.

     I was in love with the idea, in love with the reality of it, in love with the fact that I know it is true.  Right now there are couples all over the USA all over the WORLD who have that.  Then I think... I might have already missed my chance at having that.  Chances are I will never have that

     You see... I’m almost 38 years old now, a widow for 11 years, and if you do the math.  If I met someone today that I ended up marrying, I would have to be with them at least 39 years to be able to say I have been with them longer than I have been without them. Which means; I would have to live until I was at least 77 years old.  Is it possible?  Yes it is completely possible, though with accidental death and health problems more and more people are dying younger.  Plus one more thing I don’t have a man in my life that fits marriage material.  I don’t have prospects currently which means every day and year that pass comes the reality that I might not ever be able to say, I have been with someone longer than I have been apart from them.

     That fact kind of crushes me a bit. For a moment I thought how amazing it would be, how I wished I could say that.  Isn’t that the true test of love?  Long term, forever love, for better or worse, in sickness and health until the day you die?  Isn’t that what people seek, love that is strong enough to stand the test of time.  When you have been together so long you don’t know nor want to know what it is like to be apart.

      I say to myself, that this type of love isn’t superior to another love.  It is just different.  Just because you were together longer doest meant that another situation cannot have just as much love and care involved.  Being a widow first hand I know this is true.  I had my husband in my life for 3 years in total 1 year dating then engaged and 2 years married.  It also made me relate even more to the movie.

     So back to the story our nice family now includes, A great husband, talented wife, loving daughter who is now married to a nice young man with a baby just born and man's best friend ever faithful companion.  With a dare I say a special soulful connection to his master.    

     The husband and his furry friend walk everyday to the train station where man and beast part ways.  The man off to work the dog taking a tour of the neighborhood then home, before returning to meet his master again by the train.  As they are happily living life the unspeakable happens.  The man dies and on that day dog waits and waits ever faithful yet confused, Until family comes to retrieve him.  All attempts at keeping and relocating him failed.  He escapes again and again to wait for his best friend and owner who will never return.  For ten long years he waits everyday he waits until his dying breath.  With dreams and memories flooding into this kind creatures mind.  His last moments of life, were filled with fleeting moments in time of him and his master running, walking, meeting at the train where they walked home.  Is that not love? a Loyal pure love, though they are owner and pet still you can’t help but see that it is a undeniable showcase of love.

It makes me think about how I related to the movie:

I can relate to the wife whose whole life was devastated at the loss of her mate a good man one who she spent most of her life with,  More years together than apart.

I related to the daughter who tried to keep her father’s dog to love him and to care for him but finally understood she had to let him go to do what he needed to do,  wait for his best friend.

  

I related also to the dog, to the loyalty of love, to knowing what it is like to love someone so much that you want to wait for them, even though you know in your heart you will never see them again.  To find comfort in the act of remembering and giving honor to what you had.  To still be waiting after all those years.

  

     Isn’t this love just as amazing as the love of those who have been together longer than they have been apart?

     I even started to think about how many widows (wives who lost husbands) and widowers (husbands who lost wives) never marry again, some just can’t seem to get past the loss, others cannot put another into the position that will always belong to their mate who passed.  Being a widow myself I understand the feeling at a point in time I could never see myself marrying again.  Sometimes even though I am still young I wonder will I ever find someone who I am compatible with in that way again.  Others may  see it as you trying to replace your love with another and that just won’t do.

     Some feel like our canine friend in the movie, who went off on his own, he could have stayed with his master’s daughter in their home, with the nice husband and new son.  But he left never returning almost as though no other person could replace and be his owner now.  He rather wait until they can be reunited.  Loyalty and love is a powerful thing.

     Still yet when it comes to love you can’t say one love is better than another.  That you cannot know what love is unless you have been together longer than apart, unless your willing to spend the rest of your life alone. I know that is not a reality, that doesn’t mean I don’t dream about it.  Wish I could say that sentence and have felt what its like.  To be with someone longer than I have been apart from them.  

     Maybe I won’t be gifted this experience in my life.    If I marry again it won’t be because I want to replace my husband.  He has his own place in my heart.  It will be because someone else was able to capture a piece of my heart. I don’t feel it is a dishonor to him.  If I don’t marry again it isn’t because I need to punish myself, It is not to honor his memory it is because the map of my life didn’t have that detour printed.  Maybe a bit because my husband treated me so well, I won’t accept someone who won’t treat me equally as good. 

  

     Either way… I know love is something that seems like a simple word, but with strong connections and I respect all versions of this connection, including those between man and beast.  Still when times are quiet and I have only my own thoughts I think about loving someone and being with someone longer than I have been apart from them.  We all can dream can’t we?

 

MOVIE:

 

  

Hachi: A Dog's Tale  2009

When his master dies, a loyal pooch named Hachiko keeps a regular vigil -- for more than a decade -- at the train station where he once greeted his owner every day in this touching drama based on a true story.