Unknowingly... this subject has been with me since I was a very little girl. While you can go on, and on about women, how emotional and sensitive we are. I am going to specifically talk about men, women, and how over the years slowly, we are destroying the sensitive nature women have been blessed with. In my eyes as a society we are throwing off the delicate balance that make male and female relationships work.
Let me start... as little girls we are sensitive, emotional and caring. In an ideal family, our mothers are there to understand and sympathize with our feelings. Our fathers are there to protect those feelings. In your father’s arms you can cry about the flower you carried whose stem has broken. You can smile and kiss Daddy when he buys you an ice cream cone. If that ice cream cone falls and you begin to cry, he will hug you, and hold you wiping the tears away.
Daddy doesn't try to make sense of the fact that it’s just a flower. He doesn't disdainfully say go pick another. All he knows is that for some reason, this flower meant a lot to his little girl. Now the flower is broken, and so is the heart of his baby. His job is to protect and comfort. Daddy isn't going to scream about ice cream, he sees his daughter’s treasured treat is on the floor. He sees her tears, and knows that he is going to make it all better.
Men are problem solvers by nature. If something happens, men try to fix the issue. That is how they think. They are also protectors, if there is danger big or small a real man will try to make things safe and secure, even the dangers of flower petals and Mr. Softee.
There was a time when a woman's sensitive, emotional nature was honored, protected and celebrated. Songs were sung about it, it was expected for a man to not only acknowledge the difference, but protect it, because it was that difference that made woman very special to him, and a treasure. Men were raised to take to heart the emotions of the women around him. Not because the sensitive nature of women made them lesser but because it was a difference that made men and women compatible.
Woman so very keen observant and able to tap into your inner being can read situations and why it is a problem. Being sensitive we naturally can figure out what is going on behind the scenes. Being emotional we can feel the pain of others and imagine what it is like. We problem solve from the inside out. We try to create stability around us to minimize stress, to make things comfortable, to create a more relaxed environment. We relate to others more in a relaxed way.
Men do things differently. They jump into action upon notice of a problem. They want to solve things quickly and efficiently. They have a job in their mind and set out to do it to keep everything running smoothly. Some men are quite observant but usually they watch actions. Not fine details. This is not to say they cannot understand fine details, but men are more upfront about what they see and what they do. Some say it is that math mind that they have. One plus one will always be two, problem solved. If a problem is not solved stress is bound to take over and create havoc.
In this way Men and Women fits perfectly:
Women can understand the things Men don't usually talk about. We see the issues easily and can feel what Man is going through, understanding him when he doesn't understand himself. We can create an environment to calm him and help to ease those issues. Relax him and he will be more at peace, a man will recognized this and feel cared for, loved and appreciated. He wants to stay, because it is exactly what he needs. Once relaxed and feeling safe with his woman, he can open up to her and talk about the things he wouldn't talk about to others. Thus relieving stress and creating and strengthen the bond with his mate. The fact that he can do this hits home, makes him want to do things for this woman, makes him want to protect her no matter what.
Man sees a woman's problems and jumps to take action (which we love because the faster he tries to help us the more loved and important we feel). He doesn't exactly have to understand why there is a problem, he just has to know there is one, and to make woman happy he must do this, and that, to equal HAPPY WOMAN. Happy woman, makes happy family, makes Happy Man. His job is to protect what he sees as his, his home, his family and most importantly his woman. He doesn't want the delicate balance to be disrupted. A woman will appreciate how quickly he handles things. She sees this as her feelings being number one priority on his list Being the most important thing to him, she feels valued, appreciated and understood. She feels happy, loved, relaxed and cared for. Chances are she is going to want to display her love back to him by doing all the things I mentioned in the above paragraph about women. The cycle continues.
In this way honor is being brought to both. While yes there are all different types of men and women these principles worked. Through the centuries in the USA our culture taught us a woman’s sensitive nature was weak thus labeling them as unable to think or do things properly. Making them a lesser human being and thus making man higher than woman mentally. As if we were children or animals who needed to be trained and watched.
Through the woman’s movement we earned rights that were not given to us. We demanded that we be seen as equal and be able to work, vote, attend school and more. This all were good things. But in many ways I feel that some women took things to an extreme. In wanting to prove we were just as equal as men and deserving of these rights. Some began to lose or not show the sensitive and emotional side that we are blessed to have. This fight had to happen so we can be seen as equal human beings. But did we have to portray a strong woman as emotionless?
We no longer have men who protect women and their emotional and sensitive natures. We have men who degrade women for being exactly what we were meant to be. We have women, mothers and fathers who do the same.
"Stop being so sensitive!"
"Your too emotional!"
"Do not let them see you cry."
"Shut up with all that crying."
These phrases are spoken continuously and loudly. It starts in childhood and continues throughout life. Many girls are not lucky enough to have a father or any type of protective father figure. Some have had the unfortunate experience of abuse by a father or trusted male figure. Making them ultra sensitive or seemingly hard. If a male protective figure doesn't exist for them at all to reverse this negativity. We have many women who cannot or will not express themselves naturally.
We do not want to seem weak now do we? We want the whole world to know we can stand on our own and don’t need anyone’s regard.
Somehow along the way men have been taught that having a sensitive and emotional woman around is bad for them. Being raised in the same environment that our girls are being raised in has that influence. Those who show emotions are weak; it is no longer an asset that people want to have. When you see a woman being emotional, run something is wrong with her, she is uncontrollable and crazy.
Females seeing this try to become the woman they think males want. Emotionless, Uncaring as if nothing fazes them. Keeping their feelings inside, hiding them in secret as if it's a sin. Treating her man with a non-chalant attitude of disdain, and many times disgust.
This is not natural, Male and Female have been given attributes for reasons. These attributes compliment and work together to bond them. They need each other and it seems that the concept now is
"I DO NOT NEED ANYONE!"
"I CAN DO IT ALONE!"
As a woman, a strong, independent, woman who works for my community I understand and cherish the role a man plays in the stability of life. I would never say, I do not need a man because I am strong, independent and know myself. It means I need a man even more. The larger the load a woman carries the more she needs a man who understands of the ways of woman. One who is strong in character and can calm her in ways that no one else could.
Man knows that woman is emotional and things that bother her may not make sense to him. But making logical sense isnt the point. The point is she is feeling an emotion, a valid emotion that is logical to her. She is affected by this emotion and that is the problem. Man supports woman to ease her feelings, make her feel safe and secure. So that she knows that he is there for her and she will not face her thoughts, fears, emotions alone.
With his arms he embraces her holding her to his chest, making her feel safe. With his hands he wipes tears that have fallen do to, anger, fear, sadness, anxiety, stress, or just plain feeling worn out. His voice soothes her, listening to him calms the storm in her mind. With his lips he quiets her cries until all she feels is his affection and knowing she is cared for. If she allows he can make love to her and suddenly instead of a hurt heart she has a heart full of passion and love for her man.
Women are creatures of the heart it was said. If you cherish her in all ways, her heart will beat for you. Can we get back to the appreciation of this virtue? or will be insist on killing it along with what makes our women special?
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